Top 10 Ways to Embarrass Yourself on a Cruise (Without Even Trying)

Cruises are paradise on water—until you become “that person.” Whether it’s flip-flop fumbles or midnight buffet disasters, here are the top ways people unintentionally turn their vacation into a floating facepalm. Read on, laugh a little, and maybe take notes so you don’t end up as cruise ship folklore.

1. Boarding in Full Beachwear

What you think you look like: Relaxed and tropical.
What you actually look like: Lost spring breaker in a Margaritaville fever dream.

Cruise terminals are not the beach. Save the swimsuit, cover-up, and floppy hat combo for poolside. Wear real clothes (you know, the kind with a waistband) and avoid being “that guy” in a lei before the lifeboat drill even starts.

2. Missing the Muster Drill

You cannot skip the muster drill. It’s mandatory. The ship literally tracks you. If you think you can hide in your cabin and nap through it, think again. Not only will they call you out, they’ll delay departure until you show up. Nothing like being publicly shamed for safety negligence.

3. Getting Wasted on Day One

Look, we all love a good drink package. But if you black out before sunset on embarkation day, your cruise nickname becomes “Deck Chair Danny” and your liver taps out before you hit international waters. Pace yourself. You’ve got seven days of poor decisions ahead—no need to cram them all into one.

4. Wearing a Swimsuit… Everywhere

Pool deck? Sure. Buffet line? Nope. Dining room? Absolutely not. Elevator? Very questionable. Cruise ships have dress codes, and walking around soaked and semi-naked is not part of them. Respect the “shirts and shoes required” rule—especially if you want to be served anything besides judgment.

5. Going All-In at the Buffet… with No Plan

Nothing says “rookie cruiser” like a plate stacked with spaghetti, sushi, soft-serve, and ribs. All at once. Buffets are a marathon, not a sprint. Scope it out first, then return like a dignified human being—not a competitive eater.

6. Treating the Crew Like Cruisebots

Yes, crew members are there to make your trip magical. No, they’re not your personal butlers or therapists. Be kind, say “please” and “thank you,” and remember they’re working 12-hour shifts with a smile while you’re complaining your mojito has too much mint.

7. Getting Left in Port

Ships wait for no one—unless you're on a cruise-sponsored excursion. If you're wandering around aimlessly in Cozumel on your own time and suddenly realize the ship is a distant dot on the horizon… congrats, you now need a passport and a flight. Be back on time or prepare to go full Amazing Race.

8. Wearing High Heels on a Moving Ship

Unless you’re a circus acrobat with a death wish, save the stilettos for solid ground. Between slippery decks, surprise swells, and your third glass of Prosecco, heels are a fast track to twisted ankles and public wipeouts. Embrace wedges. Or, better yet, wear shoes you can survive a rogue wave in.

9. Overpacking Like It’s the Apocalypse

Do you need 14 outfits for a 5-night cruise? No. Do you need three different formal gowns, eight pairs of shoes, and a snorkel you bought in 2009? Also no. Bring mix-and-match clothes, one “I clean up nice” outfit, and leave room for souvenirs—and possibly shame.

10. Holding Up the Elevator for the Entire Ship

This is a floating city. Everyone uses the same elevators. If you treat it like a personal Uber to the Lido Deck, expect a lot of side-eye. Don’t push every floor “just to see,” don’t block the door for your cousin who’s still brushing their teeth, and definitely don’t ride it barefoot. That's how you get athlete’s soul.

Bonus Tip: Don’t Be a Deck Chair Hog

We see you. The one who wakes up at 6am, drops a towel on five chairs, and disappears until noon. It’s rude. It’s lazy. It’s how cruise karma finds you and gives you a sunburn through cloud cover.

Final Thoughts

Embarrassment is part of life—but it doesn’t have to be part of your cruise. Be chill, be kind, and maybe don’t order tequila shots before breakfast (unless it’s Day 5 and you’ve already made friends with the bartender). Cruises are meant to be fun—not memed in the Facebook group.

Now go forth, cruise confidently, and remember: if all else fails… just blame it on the motion of the ocean.