A weekly roundup of cruise news, nautical nonsense, and questionable decisions made at sea — brought to you by Barefoot and Booked.

Picking a cruise line is basically choosing your vacation alter ego. Are you into karaoke-fueled conga lines, or sipping sushi after a Broadway show? From budget-friendly party ships to jaw-dropping mega-resorts at sea, Carnival and Royal Caribbean couldn’t be more different—and that’s what makes this showdown so fun.